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Humour: Food spoilage table - labradors - 02-17-2009
Quote:
FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE
(origin unknown)
THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.
MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.
CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
WINE
It should not taste like salad dressing.
POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.
(Source: FoodReference.com)
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - luvnit - 02-17-2009
My mother uses several of these in her daily life. It's wonder she's not dead yet from some kind of bacterial infection. But she grew up on a farm and NOTHING seems to bother her.
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - cjs - 02-17-2009
"LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet."
HELLO!! Welcome to my refrigerator...
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - chef_Tab - 02-17-2009
very cute Rob! I will have to pass this along to my daughters.
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - Gourmet_Mom - 02-17-2009
Very funny Labs!
Laura, my mother is the same. She got it from growing up on a farm with a mother that raised 6 children through the depression. Nothing is ever thrown away. Example, my mother eats out as a rule, but you can't open her refrigerator without something falling out. To get ice out of her freezer, you have to remove several items to be able to get to the ice dispenser. As a matter of fact, I usually jump back before opening either door to keep something from hitting the top of my foot. That hurts! YIKES!
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - DFen911 - 02-18-2009
Hahaha!!
Quote:
CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
Lol I was doing a stock and rummage and found one these treasures. I thought well it's just for flavor...but I thought better of it and pitched it. Too funny!
Re: Humour: Food spoilage table - Lorraine - 02-18-2009
" POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth. "
I have a few turnips and rutabags that resemble that. Was thinking of putting them in water to start house plants.