Etiquette question

[Gourmet_Mom]

My mother is not a drinker....AT ALL! But it just occurred to me that the Ruby Sippers would be a great treat with the NY Cheesecake (including a cranberry sauce).

Am I wrong? This is a double edged question...do I offer it to my uncle and cousin, who would LOVE it, or respect my mother and not offer it? She's pretty cool about her friends having a drink or glass of wine, but to offer it at her house...?????

I guess the best thing would be to ask her ahead, but I KNOW that if I did, she would say, "No." As a "done deal", she'd have to smile and accept.

What would you do? (Dang... this would be a GREAT Poll question! As if I'm motivated to do that tonight /)

[Harborwitch]

I'd offer her a "virgin ruby sipper". Or have a batch of "virgin" and just add booze as requested.

My folks had a similar drink for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Grandmother didn't drink - Granddad did. My Dad would offer Grandmother a drink - she'd say just a bit of vodka (to make him happy???) and he'd load her up. She'd by hammered and happy by dinner time. I think she loved it, as long as she wasn't responsible for it.

[labradors]

Since it's her house, I would base it upon what you know of her policies regarding alcohol in her house in the past. Unless there has been some strong religious or traumatic reason that may have changed her views, if she has permitted alcohol in her house before (even if not partaking, herself), then she probably won't be bothered by it. If, on the other hand, she has always kept a dry house or you don't know of any times when liquor had been permitted, then I would pick something else.

[karyn]

I like the idea of the virgin cocktail as an option, but Labs does raise some really good points.

[cjs]

I think it depends on how she is when she does get angry - if she's the type to just get piqued (sp?) -go for it. But, if you'll hear about it for the next year (or forever) you might want to think twice.

Makes me think of a Great-aunt of mine, who went with a group of us youngsters (we were in our late 20s & she was in her 70s) to San Francisco for the day. She bought lunch, and she was fine with all of us having drinks (don't think I knew what wine was then), but she made the waiter redo the ticket and take all the booze off of what she was paying for. We were all flabbergasted!

By the way, for those who have my books, this was Deva, of Deva's chili.

[Cubangirl]

Since it is at her house, does she have any kind of wine glasses, shot glasses and whatever you'd use to serve the drink? If she does, then probably it would be ok if you offer a non-alcoholic version as well. Does she ever cook with any alcohol? I agree that if it is a religious belief, whether old or new, I'd respect it at her house. If it is just a preference not to drink, then I'd have some for those who prefer to do so. If you don't know if she's ever had alcohol served at her house, can you ask you relatives that do drink? Maybe that will give you your answer. I hope you get to do it, it sounds lovely.
BTW, I didn't know what it was so I googled it. I saw recipes with whiskey and some with run and even one with Apple liqueur. Which one is yours?

[Gourmet_Mom]

No, she has never had alcohol in the house since my dad got sick. He drank, she didn't. I'll probably respect her and leave it off, or I may get brave and ask her.

Cubangirl, here's the recipe. It's a lovely drink:


* Exported from MasterCook *

Ruby Sippers

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 6 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Appetizers

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
1 cup cranberry juice cocktail
1 cup sugar
Juice and rind of 2 orange
Orange wedge -- optional
Red sugar -- optional
1 bottle chilled sparkling white wine -- such as Italian Prosecco (750 m.)
whole cranberries

Pulse 1 1/2 cups cranberries, cranberry juice in a food processor until berries are coarsely chopped. Simmer in a saucepan over medium heat with sugar, and orange juice and rind until syrupy. about 10 minutes. Strain, then cool syrup to room temperature. If desired, rub rims of champagne flutes with orange wedge and dip in red sugar. Pour 1-2 Tbsp. syrup into glasses, then top with sparkling wine. Garnish cocktails with whole cranberries.


Source:
"Cuisine at Home Holiday Menus page 87"

[Mare749]

My opinion about holidays is this. Anything that might be a "thorn in her side" whether she shows it or not, should be avoided just to keep peace in the family. But, that's just me.

[DFen911]

And for me and my family utilize the one thing that actually keeps me sane -

A flask

[luvnit]

Well, we have a similar situation. If it were me, I'd just forgo the alcohol and keep the peace. Out of respect at someone else's house.

But I like you idea!