Life is now explained.
#10
  Re: (...)
On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
You only live once . . . but if you do it right once should be enough!
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#11
  Re: Life is now explained. by Harborwitch (On the first day, Go...)
Hahahaha that is great!!! I'm so sharing this
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#12
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by DFen911 (Hahahaha that is gre...)
OMG I love it, I love it!!!
Cis
Empress for Life
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#13
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by farnfam ([img]/ubbthreads/ima...)
Perfect! LOL!
If blueberry muffins have blueberries in them, what do vegan muffins have?
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#14
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by labradors (Perfect! LOL!...)
THAT is HILARIOUS! I can't wait to share it!
Daphne
Keep your mind wide open.
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#15
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by DFen911 (Hahahaha that is gre...)
What a hoot.

Buzz
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#16
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by buzzard767 (What a hoot. [img]...)
We have also solved the mystery of when life begins---

A priest, a preacher, and a rabbi were dining and discussing the subject--
The priest said "Life begins at conception"
The preacher said "No, life begins at birth"
The rabbi said "No, no, no,-- you've both got it wrong, life begins when the kids leave and the dog dies".
"He who sups with the devil should have a. long spoon".
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#17
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by Old Bay (We have also solved ...)
OMG!!! Bill that is just too funny! And just too correct! Have a great weekend.
You only live once . . . but if you do it right once should be enough!
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#18
  Re: Re: Life is now explained. by Harborwitch (OMG!!! Bill that is...)
Too funny guys...that is quite cute on both parts!
"Ponder well on this point: the pleasant hours of our life are all connected, by a more or less tangible link, with some memory of the table."-Charles Pierre Monselet, French author(1825-1888)
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